My Husband-A Poem.

I wanted to write a really meaningful and heartsy (I made that word up I think) poem about Adam, but I decided to stick with corny and simple :-)

My Husband

My husband is cute my husband is hott

He does the things that many husbands do not.

He loves and cares for me with all that he has

With me he sings, cooks, loves me, and all that jazz.

Without him, I do not want to think of where I’d be

I wouldn’t be myself, I wouldn’t be me.

For he makes me a better person, he makes me see

That there is no other for me, only HE.

In all seriousness my husband is amazing. I love him so SO much and I want to tell the world that-if you don’t mind. I thank God for him everyday. I created a recap of a photo shoot I did of him doing one of his favorite hobbies.

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Inspiration

Inspiration can come from so many different scenes, people, experiences, websites… Sometimes I feel myself inspired and then I’m lead to yet another place of awe, and before I know it I have spiraled into this world of excitement and hope!!!! Adam and I had the absolute privilege of having a T-A-L-E-N-T-E-D wedding photographer, who called me personally to talk to me once I told her I was interested in photography. She is a family friend and an amazingly nice person, but I DID NOT expect the guidance and kind words that she gave me. She is at the top of her game, and she shoots INCREDIBLE shots. And I’m not talking about basketball here.

Her name is Heather Armstrong. (www.heatherarmstrongphotography.com) Her advice ,and all the websites that she gave me has given me inspiration x10!! Each website, product, or photographer she has told me about has led me to an abundance of information!! THANK YOU! You are inspiring!!

Self-Portrait

I feel old. I know I shouldn’t say that at 25 years of age…but when I took photography in high school and college we still had only the dark room courses available. Now when I go back to my high school alma mater the photo room is filled with mac computers and the dark room is used as an extra storage room.

Well, I can make myself feel better by saying they DID come in with digital courses in my later years of college, I was just so focused on my major classes in Public Relations at CSU Fullerton by that time, I wasn’t able to take another class.

In my college photo class I remember my instructor looked like santa clause with his long white beard. With jolly joy he told us we had this assignment: create a self portrait that shows something about yourself. I chose to show myself singing with a microphone in the forefront of the photo, and then I wanted an all black bakground. I thought this showed some of who I am: music, simple, hair down, passionate.

When I went home for the weekend recently from the overcast Monterey Peninsula to my parents house in Sunny  rainy! East Bay Area, I found the self-portrait assignment tucked away in one of my bedroom cupboards.

 I decided to try another self-portrait with my new Canon 60D 50mm 1.8 fixed lens. Here is what I came up with. It represents my coming back to the digital photography age and the start of going into the photography industry!! I sound so traditional with the “photography age” talk.

Who would have thought I’d fall in love with photography at this point in my life!? After all of the experiences I have had in marketing, teaching voice lessons, worship leading, gigging, and now as a Marketing Manager for Bradley School of Music-it seems hard to believe I am at this point. Or maybe it isn’t hard to believe???! I HAVE stuck my nose in Multiple, with a capital M, subjects in the past few years, so maybe it is predictable.

See that’s my problem. Or is it my problem? I used to tell myself that I was dabbling into too many different fields, and that I needed to master one. Mastering is good, but why not learn multiple? It seems as though I have come to a point where all of my experiences have all funneled into this point of my life. The hodge-podge of experiences seem to all be clear, even though when they are all mixed together they are a colorful heterogeneous mixture.God had all these different opportunities planned for me, and I have to trust that they all matter and they all will serve a purpose at this time.

I was listening to Jack Johnson in the early 8 a.m. this morning and he spoke to me in a lyric of his song “Upside Down”. He told me this:

“Who’s to say
I can’t do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren’t always just what they seem.”

To me this says (coming from a surf star turned music sensation) that we can “do” multiple things, we can create well rounded experiences, and why is that a bad thing? I love all kinds of different genres of life and IT’S OK. A friend of mine told me I love to create and share. My favorite aspect of a job is exactly that. I love creating and sharing…blessing…sharing an emotional response with someone. I love sharing lives and meeting people, all different people. Music-create and share.  Food-same thing. I have a feeling there will be more self portraits to come. I have dedicated myself to “doing” photography, but that doesn’t mean I won’t partake in other passions in my life. That is why I LOVE photography-I can create music, food, family, friends on a photograph or video. And then I can share.

Miss Perfect Sandra Dee.

Truth is. I’m a perfectionist. I’ll probably read this post over and over 100 times. And I think perfectionism has kept me from doing some things I really want to do.  Maybe also mix in some scared, and sprinkle in some distraction and I don’t want to have to say this word…but laziness. I used to be afraid of making mistakes (and let’s be honest…I still am!! Who wants to make mistakes!?).

When I was in high school I played Sandra Dee in our high school musical “Grease”. I loved singing and being on stage, but because I felt as if I didn’t do as good as I wanted I completely gave up. I felt really bad, and was secretly really hard on myself. I didn’t want to continue theatre after high school, I didn’t think I had “what it took” and I listened to the people criticizing me instead of the ones who supported me and looked out for my best interest. I wasn’t measuring up to the part that Olivia Newton John perfectly portrayed: wholesome, angel toned, disciplined, good girl Sandra Dee!

(I love this photo for two reasons:it shows us back stage for Grease, and my high school photography teacher Ms.Rossman played a part in the musical, and that’s her in the middle! I still am very passionate about both music and photography)

Looking back I hear my now self coaching my old self…”get up!! Stop feeling sorry for yourself!! Learn from your mistakes!! Work hard and do your best, and continue to learn. Go for what you love. Don’t you know that making mistakes and not automatically being the best is a natural process in life…!?!?!” But that was me THEN, and NOW I can only move forward.

Ok….so enough of that…now for the inspiration for this post. I am jumping up and down inside like a little girl excited the night before Christmas, anxiously waiting the morning of her princess birthday party. I can’t sleep, I wake up early!!

I found a photographer who is SO inspiring it’s CRAAAZY!! So my wedding photographer Heather Armstrong (who is AH-MAZE-ING!!! http://www.heatherarmstongphotography.com) told me about Jasmine Star who is currently in the top 10 most influencial photographers in the industry. She has an incredible, nice, impressive (and intimidating!) website. I say intimidating because I long to have a website like that…I admire her work, and I long to someday do what she does. I’m happy for her, and I’m not proud to say this…but I envy her!!

She has her old blog from when she first started her journey to become a photographer.  Literally from when she didn’t have a nice fancy website and a beautiful camera. She was vulnerable and had doubts-but she knew she would be a photographer someday. She knew even though there would be many setbacks and days where she felt scared about her future, she would succeed. She had a vision of the future, not the here and now. Nothing was getting in her way. I started from the beginning of her blog to see how her journey went and I am so surprised at how much her writing is motivating me to shoot for my dreams without being scared! To just go for it. I love how raw, open, and honest she is in her postings. I know I am not alone on this journey. THANK YOU JASMINE!!! You’re my hero!!!

So here it is. I can’t wait to open myself up, make mistakes, become a photographer, travel the world shooting, shoot along side Heather Armstrong and Jasmine Star!?!?! And someday sing on stage, in the same room even, with Brooke Fraser. YES. To be the person God has created me to be. After I put that statement out in the world I immediately feel my natural response is to… think that maybe is… totally CRAZY!! But NO!! I feel like I can do anything in the current emotional state that I am in!! So why not go there. I’m going to do that. Period. No exceptions. The End. I see the future vision and nothing is getting in my way.

So here’s to always working toward being that perfect Sandra Dee! Although no one will ever be perfect, we can give our best, be kind and honest to others. And with a lot of work, reach our goals and dreams.